Due?

Just when things are going so well, an old lady at the pool can knock you flat. The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and there was a sense of excitement and anticipation that only comes with a long summer weekend. 

I had just finished my first triathlon the weekend before, and was feeling pretty good about myself. It was the first thing that had given me a sense of achievement in a very long time. Not only did I finish a triathlon, but I also remembered to bring my kids’ pajamas to the town pool, so after they went swimming I would stick them in the shower to rinse off, put those pjs on and we’d be halfway to bed!

Feeling pretty proud of myself, I walked over to our chaise by the pool to get the kids’ towels when this older woman with a big smile came up to me. I was so preoccupied with the kids that I didn’t immediately realize she was talking to me. But then I realized she was, and what she said registered in my brain. “You look so cute, when are you due?”

Rudely, I responded, what? Because I truly couldn’t believe she was asking me this. So, she asked again, just to make sure she got her point across.

“You look so cute.” (Ok, this part I can take. Thanks, strange lady!)

“When are you due?” (Ugh. Just take that exposed nerve that I so desperately try to hide or ignore and yank on it for everyone to see!)

I was so flustered. I just muttered a “thanks” and ran as fast  as I could to my kids in the locker room. 

At times like this, I actually feel badly for the person making the faux pas, even if it’s at my expense, and I don’t want to make them feel worse. However, I’ll admit I’ve fantasized of a million different comebacks five days too late.

The thing is, she's not totally off base-- I do look pregnant sometimes. After the birth of my son five years ago I’ve had diastasis recti. I run four to five times a week, go to boot camp classes at the gym and the occasional yoga class, so I’m not fat by any stretch.  It’s just that I look like I’m four to five months pregnant all the time. I look like Gru from Despicable Me—skinny legs and arms and a big torso.

My Gru-ness is something I’ve struggled with for five years, but had come to some sort of peace with recently. I’m a mother, and after you have two kids your body changes. But I’m fit and I’m proud of what my body has and still does accomplish—especially after finishing my first tri. But one comment from a stranger at the pool can easily knock me back years.